A timeline of my life: Why I became a holistic time management coach
My ancestry and how I grew up deeply impacted me & my time.
The legacy my immigrant entrepreneur family left me wasn’t just a strong work ethic. In my family, there was also workaholism, alcoholism, and perfectionism.
My worth was so tied up in my achievements, in 2013, I finished a college term paper from my hospital bed, sick with a deadly intestinal infection (the same one that kills 30,000 Americans every year and would kill my Holocaust-surviving grandfather two years later) because under no condition could I settle for anything less than an A.
My illness and four miserable months of recovery didn’t cure me of my addiction to hustle and achievement.
After college, in 2017, I got a prestigious engineering job working for the US government, just like my grandparents.
But that time did open a crack in the matrix where a tiny, unexpected seed of another way could silently germinate beneath the ongoing chaos.
First I got into yoga, meditation, reiki, and other healing modalities, and then I started my own business teaching yoga.
I continued to go above and beyond for my work and my beloved to-do list and I said yes to everything that promised to maximize my efficiency.
I passed on hanging out with my friends.
I got annoyed with my husband when he tried to hug me because I needed to get shit done.
I injured myself doing yoga trying to relax.
If only I could be more efficient, I thought, I could catch up with everything I had to do, and THEN I could breathe and enjoy some time off. Right…?
Except I was unhealthy and unhappy and I knew what I was doing wasn’t working.
That seed of awareness had germinated, taken root, and was beginning to sprout.
Me hustling for time off was like that bombing for peace saying. It just wasn’t possible.
There was never going to be space for that new life, for the how of making real, lasting change until I let go of what was draining the life out of me.
One day at a time, over the course of years, I healed what fed the hustle and feelings of unworthiness.
I simplified my life and business and gave that sprout what it needed to grow. And grow. And grow…
It took time but my priorities slowly shifted away from proving my worth by some toxic, external definition of success to an internal one of a simple, authentic human experience.
From a tiny seed in a tiny crack, real change began and ultimately led to my work as a Holistic Time Coach and Educator in 2020.
Time is the most precious resource we have. Capitalism and other oppressive systems exploit all of our time and lives in unequal ways.
Traditional time hacks and management systems are built to work with these systems. They are not the cure for our real time-related problems because they’re not designed to help us lead a more fulfilling, more human life.
They’re designed to make us a more productive commodity in the labor force.
Healing individual and collective time wounds is cultural and intergenerational healing.
I'm still on my journey, peeling back the layers of overdoing in order to reclaim the agency I do have over my time and life within the systems we live in.
My thoughts to those of you who’ve cracked open the matrix but don’t yet know the how?
Breathe.
Continue to breathe space into that crack, even when you feel like you should be doing something “more.”
Know that you are worthy not only of your goals, but also of your dreams and the boundaries, priorities, and self-care that will help you realize them.
Then exhale.
Release the hustle, chaos, and control.
Let go of toxic productivity and achievement-based worth that’s been force-fed to us our entire lives.
Working with me is not just about managing time better (though we definitely declutter your calendar and get realistic about your capacity).
It’s about real change.
And real change requires more than a crack in the matrix, more than quick-fix hacks and bandaid tools on deeper wounds.
This is about believing you, just as you are, are worthy of a life well lived, whatever that looks like to you.
All of the clarity, skills, and steps required to create the fulfilling life you desire emerge from here.
